Pursuing creativity can be the toughest decision any person can do.
Only a few people can do big risks like that — especially those who are working in an excitingly boring corporate world like I did.
Are they really that stupid to leave their stable job with stable income for the sake of creating handmade crafts? That’s what other people say.
Constant humiliation will be most heard from friends and even from their own family. Insults, disappointments, etc. Humans are best judge.
I guess anyone could never imagine how hard it is to decide leaving such a career just for creativity. However, I understand how this person feels when a “should” and a “must” make a huge dilemma. I’ve been into that.
The terrible life that changed a hell out of me!
I was a full-time inspiring high school teacher. Yikes! Well, I WAS.
I should be happy I can be a change maker in my own class. I should feel that burning passion within me teaching life lessons to my students. Seeing them greeting me and thanking me for every thing I taught them, should make me feel delighted.
But I felt so … tired. Freaking tired. There was no spark. Blank.
It was weird and I don’t know the reason why I did. My reality doesn’t speak that well to me. I felt demotivated every time I checked test papers, activity sheets, journals of my students.
I ever wanted to run away and stay in a seashore on working hours without bothering my boss. He’s the modern Ramses II or Fidel Castro in some sorts.
Yeah, I had a full-time job as a high school teacher in 2013. Just months after I graduated from college. It was too difficult for a first-time employed teacher to handle many subjects without fully adjusted to the workplace.
I was overwhelmed with teaching eclectic subjects to four levels which are not my expertise. I graduated as an English major. At least, I should only teach where I’m good at. But I needed to handle the electives — Philippine History, World History, and Filipino.
Every day I have to make eight lesson plans. In a week, they’re 40 lesson plans. I could remember I used a thick logbook for them, not a regular lesson plan book the other teachers are using.
If there would be school activities, I have to think about the students’ performances. Aside from teaching, I was also a Grade 7 class adviser. That means to say, I have to teach them to dance, to sing, or whatever the performance requires. I needed to show them my full support to what they’re doing as a class.
During examinations, I still need to check loads of test papers while preparing another set of lessons for the next week. I rarely had enough sleep that time.
I even sleep during my classes. I am brutally honest with that.
How I wanted my boss to go to hell!
I love to teach. I love listening to my students everything they want to tell me. I love reading their works. I love taking care of them while they’re in school. I love chatting with them whatever they want to tell me. Everything.
I just hated my boss. He was too inconsiderate. He was not a leader.
The dumb bureaucracy behind it made it hell. I mean the administrative sector of the school. What makes it ironic is they are a devoted Seventh Day Adventist church goers. I wondered where the God-like practices implemented in the school.
Yes, the way the school was controlled contributed to my overloaded stress. I fainted in class due to fatigue. That time was already my big signal that working there is a hell. I love teaching but I know I was in a wrong place. Whenever I recall it, I can never imagine how I was able to manage all of them.
When my contract ended last March of 2014, I was excited. I was like a dove prepared to fly. Of course, it was my freedom. It was my time to shine and do what I wanted to do. Last year was the dawn of my new life course.
“Creativity is intelligence with fun!”
Albert Einstein nailed it.
Pursuing creativity was worth of my decision. Quitting my teaching career was difficult because I was attached to it, yet, it was the best choice I’ve ever made.
After my one year misery teaching, I suffered the consequences of severed anxiety that took me a lot of time to recover. I can’t describe how it was but I felt my entire body was vibrating all the time. I am not sure it was panic attack, it was uncomfortable. I am aware I am not in good condition. Whenever it attacks, I just cried, took pain killers, and rested. Hoping rest could help.
COULD HELP. I recognized it was not the best solution for this anxiety problem. I needed to do something.
I took initiative on how I should recover from them in my own creative way. Since laying in bed all the time made it boring, I tried exploring possibilities on what I could do while staying home as an official unemployed.
I started to create my handmade journals and started selling them to friends. When I heard their praises about my work, I felt “This is where I’m going.” I appreciated each of their reviews.
The best stupid decision you make is the best choice for life.
Thinking about that status of unemployment, I created another form anxiety. How can I earn? Where should I work? I felt trapped. I wasn’t able to realize that quitting a stable job just like that can be distressing. Plus … my college pals asked me, “Hey, have you enrolled to Master’s Degree this year?”
Bang! Another stress! Sucks. Sigh.
Pursuing creativity was unplanned. Everyone expected me to proceed post-graduate studies after college, right after I passed my national licensure examinations for 2013. I took two national exams. One for my high school teaching, the other was for government lifetime service certification.
Damn! I prepared a year for these exams while working. Boom! I passed, but they remained unused for my career.
Then, plans changed. I left my teaching career, government opportunity and stayed home doing creative and online freelancing jobs.
Instead of listening on what other people said about me, I immersed myself to creativity and searched more possibilities around it. Anyway, they have all nay-says about me anyway. I can’t do anything about it.
Though it would make you feel troubled or doubtful whether your decision of leaving your corporate job is your biggest mistake, don’t mind it. For the longest time you’ve been living the life with a boring routine. You just felt attached. Choosing to do what you think is right is not a mistake.
Leave your job and choose to stay alive, idiot!
This would be my final thought for you to ponder, pal!
You have the choice to stay in a status quo. No one can stop you from that, not even me. It’s your option to choose whether you want to make your own adventure and experience new things you’d never regret not doing in the next years or you rather work 9 to 5 with a boring life.
You may not be a teacher and perhaps, reading this post may bore you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a banker, writer, author, blogger, virtual assistant, freelancer, or whatever. If you feel like I felt before, we’re on the same page. That matters.
Recognizing your need to stay alive and choose to create new adventures will let you formulate new ideas on your next business, for example. This is creativity. It’s not necessarily art and crafting. Creativity involves imagination. It is a wide array of sectors people can do to make something NEW to yourself and to the world.
I know that you’re getting confused with life’s tough choices. Stay on your job limiting your potentials or build new journeys. Again, it’s up to you. This is your life.
How about you? Do you have something to say? Feel free to share them in the comments below. If you like this post, share it to your family and friends through the social media links on the sidebar.